I'm not even trying to hide it.

I'm a quitter. I quit things. In fact sometimes I think I start things just so I can quit them. (OK that might be an exaggeration but you get my point here)

I was just thinking to myself. I have lots of things I haven't quit on (even though at times I may have wanted to). So I'm making a list, cause it's what I do best. To make myself feel better and prove I CAN stick to things if I truly want to.

1. Being a wife. Hey, it's hard work and I've made it almost 2 years already.
2. Being a mother, and there have been many times I've wanted to quit but she is so dang cute.
3. Scrapbooking. I love it. It's fun and relaxing, I wish I could do it more actually.
4. My Job, Again this is another one that I've wanted to quit several times but that whole "being an adult" thing is sorta holding me back.
5. My blog. I've been doing this since. what? August and still going, in fact I actually write more now than I did. I also really enjoy this and sometimes I yearn to type but have nothing to write about. It's sad really.
6. Caring for my furbabies. Yup my pets. I'm not sure I ever really mention them here but we have 2 cats and a dog and I've had one of the cats for like 14 years now. That's quite an accomplishment. (though Adam takes care of them mostly now.)


Um Yeah, maybe that isn't that many things. But it's still better than nothing right?

What IS Motivation Anyway?

I think it's something people have to have in order to workout, eat right. I have no problem finding motivation. It's keeping it that I struggle with.

My question I find myself asking myself is why can't I keep my motivation? Is the food that tempts me really that great? Is the shows on TV really better than getting a workout in?

I think my main problem is excuses. I think I could be dubbed the queen of excuses. I can always think of something else I SHOULD be doing. Like dishes, laundry, spending time with my family, etc. But really my health is important too. And I really need to learn to quit putting it on the back burner. It needs to be put on the front burner, and watched carefully, cause I'm tired of boiling over. OK enough with the puns. In all seriousness I am frustrated and angry with myself. I have committed and re-committed so many times and it makes me sad that right this moment I'm feeling motivated but in a day or too this will wear off and I'll be back down in the pits and eating everything in sight without caring.

I need to address WHY I can't stick with it. Why I have a hard time accomplishing even the smallest goal. I have even tried throwing the scale out of the picture and just going by how I feel about myself. I just don't understand the Why of it all.

Wait...What was I talking about again?

So the rest of the weekend shaped up to be pretty good. I didn't blog about the good things in my last post because I wanted it to be more dramatic (insert eye rolls here) Plus the baby was sitting with me while I typed that last one and she always tries to "help" mommy type. Bless her heart.

So our car shopping adventure is OVER! We finally got one. A Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo. It's nice. Adam and I both love it, and in fact we are still undecided about who gets to drive it. So for now we are taking turns. Even though I will get more turns. (Love you honey) And I have it today too. But in my defense Adam is home today so it doesn't really matter right?

Friday night my sister-in-law took the baby overnight for us. I was thrilled, but I of course, wanted the baby to be good for her. Turns out she was great, slept all night. Lucky duck. Adam and I went to Red Lobster courtesy of the gift certificate we got from Sarah (my sister-in law). I felt like a real adult getting out of the house, with my husband, without the baby. After we ate we decided to go to the casino. Adam lost some money, I won some. But not enough to cover what he lost. BUT we had fun anyway and so that was nice. We got home and slept, and slept til almost 10 the next morning. It was wonderful. Then we went car shopping, got the Jeep just in time to go and pick up Lily.

Then there was the night of horror. *shudder*

And then Sunday I made a nice big breakfast of pancakes, hash browns, eggs, and bacon. It was good. Then I went and got my hair cut.

As of right now I'm having some mixed feelings about it. It's not styled right and looks nothing like I wanted. BUT it has potential. I just have to find some time to play with it. So for now I'm not thrilled but it will grow on me I think. Tomorrow I'll blow it dry and see if that makes a difference at all.

Then I ran to goodwill in the search of some plain, solid color sheets for photos for Lily. I don't mind doing them myself and actually enjoy it, but it's hard when you don't have anything to use as a drop cloth/background type thing. I found a few neat things and so I am just patiently waiting a week until Lily hits 8 months and then I'll give it a go and see what I can do. I think I'm going to try and read up on some lighting and stuff like that, Ideally I like to do pictures outside cause lighting is perfect. But what can you do when you have tons of snow in the way right? Wish me luck! People have given me many compliments on other photos I have done so I'm hoping I can get some more good ones. She's a pretty easy subject.

Anyway, Lily had a better night last night. Though she still woke up a lot, she managed to put herself back to sleep, which is always good. And at some point a circuit blew and her heater and nightlight went off. We just left it but eventually Adam had to run down and flip it back on. She likes the noise from the heater and I'm sure the light helps too. And she went back to sleep, and stayed asleep after that. Not sure what happened to the breaker though. Our house is full of mysteries.

Alright I suppose I'll quit boring you now with my babble.

All Times are Approximate...

7:30pm: Bedtime dress, bottle, cuddles, sound asleep crib time

8:00pm: Adam and I go downstairs and have some corn dogs and play some Lego Starwars

10:00pm: We decide to head up to bed

11:00pm: Lily wakes up and cries off and on for 25 minutes while Adam and I argue about sleeping

11:25pm: Adam goes in and gets her and brings her to me. I cuddle her and sing to her she finally goes back to sleep

12:00am: Adam gets her to stay in the crib without waking up screaming the first second you put her down. We are hopeful she will sleep the rest of the night.

1:00am: She wakes up again, but by her cry I think she might go back to sleep on her own.

1:15am: I was wrong, Adam goes in and gets her and brings her to me again.

1:30am: she's back to sleep, I am not.

1:30-4:30am: I am holding her while she sleeps, every time I close my eyes, she knows and starts crying and at this point I'm thinking she's doing it on purpose just to spite me.

4:30am: I lay there awake hoping for 6:00am to come so I can just GET UP ALREADY.

5:00am: I tell Adam I just am going to get up (I'm almost in tears) and we argue again about sleeping. I honestly just want to get UP. I'm wide awake and sick of laying there wishing for morning to come. So I get up and get her clothes and get her dressed and changed and feed her breakfast.

6:03am: I'm writing this with her on my lap giggling away cause she's in a GREAT mood.

And she was SO good for my sister in law on Friday night. Slept all night for her. Hopefully tonight will be better.

For now I leave you with a photo, since she's so cute and it's the only thing keeping her alive at this point.

Lily with her baby doll.

A Disruption in the Force....

So for Christmas my Sister in law gave us a "gift certificate" for a free overnight babysitting. So we decided to cash it in tonight. A free night. We really aren't sure what to do with ourselves. We are thinking maybe casino trip, maybe dinner out. I mean it's a tough call, we really don't want to waste it. We know for sure that we are going to sleep in tomorrow and then go car shopping. But what on earth do we do tonight? We could go to a movie, really anything. We decided to play it by ear and see what we feel like.

All I can say is after 7.5 months of doing a bedtime routine, EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. I will be at a loss as to what to do with myself come 7:30pm tonight.

What do you guys think we should do?

A Myriad of Photos

This is my alternate version of if Lily were a boy. LOL

I love my Leo!

Lily completely hamming it up for the camera.

It's electric, Boogey -woogy-oogy

Just Chillin'

My Productivity.

So yesterday Adam was so sweet and kind enough to get up early, get the Monster ready, AND take her over to my Mother-in-Laws house so that I could have a day to rest up and maybe get some much needed housework done. As you all know Lily has been rather needy as of late, which makes it hard to get anything more than a load of dishes done or vacuuming the living room. And I hate to admit it but I don't even remember the last time my shower and the floors had been cleaned. It needed it. Badly.

Stuff I got done yesterday:

Kitchen:
Dishes (all of them, dishwasher is empty as I type)
Counters
Fronts of cabinets
Swept floor
Mopped.

Dining room:
Got table cleared off
All Christmas decorations down and put away
floor swept and mopped
Table wiped off

Living room/Desk area:
All papers sorted and thrown out
dusted
All Christmas decorations down and put away
Floor vacuumed.

Stairs/hallway:
Floors vacuumed.

Bathroom:
Shower cleaned
Toilet cleaned
Sink Cleaned
Mirror cleaned
Liter box, cleaned
Swept floor and hand washed.
Washed shower curtain and rugs

Bedroom:
Bed linens changed/made
All laundry put away

I also worked on laundry all day and got that caught up. With towels, blankets and such.

I would like to have gotten Lily's room cleaned too but sometimes I had to actually rest. I was recovering from my surgery after all. But I was SO happy with my progress that I could finally relax. I had a nice long hot bath and felt so relaxed afterwords.

I think mental health days are So worth it. I feel more at ease in general too. And was SO happy when it was time to go pick up the Monster.