I think I watch WAY too many cooking shows (shut up Adam) because I no longer follow recipes. Ok so I've never been a big recipe person to begin with. My family LOVES cookbooks but even with a pretty massive collection under their belts, they really only use them for baking. And I've learned that's exactly what I do with mine. Things you make all the time you learn to tweak to make them to fit your tastes better with time. Of course watching the food network has really opened up my mind as far as what to make and the basic principals of it all. For example. I make stuffed mushrooms. Adam and Lily and myself all like them. I've never laid eyes on a recipe for stuffed mushrooms before and yet I make them and 98% of the time they turn out fantastic. And if they don't turn out great I can usually remember it and fix it the next time. I do this with other things too, meatloaf, meatballs, crock pot recipes etc. But in honor of me making the mushrooms for dinner tonight I thought I'd post my method. Of course ingredients are easily changed out for what's on hand too.
Stuffed Mushrooms
1 container of mushrooms (white button or baby portabellas) We prefer the small mushrooms but larger is fine too.
Take the stems out and dice them up fine. In a saute' pan Saute' up some diced onion, garlic in some oil or butter. Add herbs and spices to taste. mix in some Seasoned bread crumbs to the consistency of a filling. Add some cheese (whatever kind if fine, I've used Parm and Mozzarella before) Put the mushrooms on a baking sheet and fill with filling. Sprinkle extra cheese on top and bake at about 400 degrees for 15-20 minutes until the cheese is brown and the mushrooms are tender.
Enjoy!
Other things that would be delicious in these: diced peppers, ground sausage, other veggies diced small.
These would be great for a party or served with dinner, like a meatloaf. You can use a lot of the same ingredients in the meatloaf too and it would tie together nice!
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Here's the way my brain works these days....
Had my first Dr. appointment yesterday. Went well, met my Dr. for the first time. She seems nice. Uses a lot of big words though which I am totally not used to but I'll manage. Got to hear the baby's heartbeat which was nice. She found it right away which was always a struggle with Lily. She always found the one spot in there that no one could ever find her, as a result we got an extra ultrasound than normal with her so that they could find her. But not this one. He/she was right there, bragging about his/her heartbeat. I'm ok with that. I also got some more Zofran which seems to be helping a lot with my upset stomach. Last time they gave me the dissolvable ones and they just didn't seem to work as well. So now with these I can take have the amount and still feel better. I'll take it.
Tomorrow I am off work, Happy about it too, I have A LOT that needs to get done including but not limited to: Laundry, Dishes, Vacuuming, grocery shopping, the girl's two year pics. And a laundry list of other things that I never seem to have the energy or ambition to do. But alas, I must get it done, no more putting it off til "tomorrow" cause it never seems to get done.
Lily and I are on our own for dinner tonight and I'm just really not sure what to make. Probably peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with some canned veggie or something. Simple and doesn't require any dishes to cook with which is a good thing considering the current state of my kitchen. Seriously though I really should take before and after pics, though I'd be a bit ashamed to actually POST the photos of my messy house.
So I've been watching a lot of "Billy the Exterminator" Despite his horrible fashion choices it's a pretty interesting show. And of course there was an episode on about someone that had squirrels in their attic......and all the damage they do and whatnot. Yeah, its just an even more urgent reminder that we need to evict the squirrels that have taken hold of our attic space sooner rather than later. Sadly it's not easily accessible. I wonder how much it would cost to have someone to come out and take care of it for us. I should add that to my list of things to do. *sigh* and the list just keeps growing.
Tomorrow I am off work, Happy about it too, I have A LOT that needs to get done including but not limited to: Laundry, Dishes, Vacuuming, grocery shopping, the girl's two year pics. And a laundry list of other things that I never seem to have the energy or ambition to do. But alas, I must get it done, no more putting it off til "tomorrow" cause it never seems to get done.
Lily and I are on our own for dinner tonight and I'm just really not sure what to make. Probably peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with some canned veggie or something. Simple and doesn't require any dishes to cook with which is a good thing considering the current state of my kitchen. Seriously though I really should take before and after pics, though I'd be a bit ashamed to actually POST the photos of my messy house.
So I've been watching a lot of "Billy the Exterminator" Despite his horrible fashion choices it's a pretty interesting show. And of course there was an episode on about someone that had squirrels in their attic......and all the damage they do and whatnot. Yeah, its just an even more urgent reminder that we need to evict the squirrels that have taken hold of our attic space sooner rather than later. Sadly it's not easily accessible. I wonder how much it would cost to have someone to come out and take care of it for us. I should add that to my list of things to do. *sigh* and the list just keeps growing.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Here's the truth.
The truth is this:
1. I feel like shit.
2. I feel bad that I keep complaining about it and I’m sure I’m alienating those people closest to me.
3. I do not feel like a good wife.
4. I do not feel like a good mother right now. My patience is so worn thin that the stupidest things make me mad and frustrated.
5. I feel frustrated that I can’t seem to get any relief no matter what I try.
6. I feel alone. I do know that I’m not alone and I have lots of people there that love me and want to help but I can’t help but feel SO SO alone like no one understands what I’m going through right now, even though I know that thought process is stupid and there are people that understand or at least TRY to understand what’s going on.
7. I do feel blessed that we are having another baby, but don’t be surprised if I don’t let it show til I start feeling better. My nerves and emotions are all out of wack right now and I’ve lost sight of some of my priorities. I hope to be back to myself soon.
8. I’m not sure I want more kids. I LOVE having kids and being a mom and idealing I’d love to have some more kids after this one, but I just don’t know if I could do this all again. Not just to myself but to my family.
9. I was so looking forward to this summer. Lily is at such a fun age right now and she is learning stuff like crazy and I was so looking forward to taking her places and doing things with her and now these days all I want to do is lay in bed and cry and feel sorry for myself.
10. Life doesn’t seem fair. I know my suffering will be WELL worth it once this baby gets here, but like I said, it’s hard to keep sight of that when you feel like poo 24/7.
11. I want someone to hug me and tell me I’m doing great and that I’m doing an awesome job and they couldn’t do it as well as me and that our baby is going to be so amazing and this won’t last forever.
12. I try to reach out to people but do it in all the wrong ways.
13. I need to learn to communicate my frustration and ask for what I need without crying every. single. time.
There, that's the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
1. I feel like shit.
2. I feel bad that I keep complaining about it and I’m sure I’m alienating those people closest to me.
3. I do not feel like a good wife.
4. I do not feel like a good mother right now. My patience is so worn thin that the stupidest things make me mad and frustrated.
5. I feel frustrated that I can’t seem to get any relief no matter what I try.
6. I feel alone. I do know that I’m not alone and I have lots of people there that love me and want to help but I can’t help but feel SO SO alone like no one understands what I’m going through right now, even though I know that thought process is stupid and there are people that understand or at least TRY to understand what’s going on.
7. I do feel blessed that we are having another baby, but don’t be surprised if I don’t let it show til I start feeling better. My nerves and emotions are all out of wack right now and I’ve lost sight of some of my priorities. I hope to be back to myself soon.
8. I’m not sure I want more kids. I LOVE having kids and being a mom and idealing I’d love to have some more kids after this one, but I just don’t know if I could do this all again. Not just to myself but to my family.
9. I was so looking forward to this summer. Lily is at such a fun age right now and she is learning stuff like crazy and I was so looking forward to taking her places and doing things with her and now these days all I want to do is lay in bed and cry and feel sorry for myself.
10. Life doesn’t seem fair. I know my suffering will be WELL worth it once this baby gets here, but like I said, it’s hard to keep sight of that when you feel like poo 24/7.
11. I want someone to hug me and tell me I’m doing great and that I’m doing an awesome job and they couldn’t do it as well as me and that our baby is going to be so amazing and this won’t last forever.
12. I try to reach out to people but do it in all the wrong ways.
13. I need to learn to communicate my frustration and ask for what I need without crying every. single. time.
There, that's the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
A post in pictures
The girl swimming in her pool after her birthday party.
Enjoying some of her birthday presents
No party is complete without Elmo cake.
The birthday girl with her cake.
Just having fun in her pool
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Totally Serious.
So inspired by this post by my mom. I thought I'd write my thoughts on the subject, whether they are welcome or not.
Some back story for those of you that may not know. I was always very very much a daddy's girl and in no way to I think I had it rough as a child, in fact my parents were awesome, they set limits but let us do our own thing. They knew how to reign us in when it was needed and let have some slack when that was needed. For the most part I wouldn't change a thing. They worked hard to give us the things we had and I can't speak for my brother but I know I appreciated everything I've learned and was taught growing up. But, there always was an elephant in the room. Something we never talked about, because for the most part, it just wasn't THAT big of a deal. Of course I can honestly say I'm sure none of us imagined it would turn out this way down the road.
My dad is an alcoholic. I don't know for how long, I know for a very long time but I guess I never really noticed it as a problem until I was a teenager. My dad can be the most fun, loving wonderful person you could ever meet. OR he can be moody and one joke can send him over the edge and make you just want to run 100 miles in any direction just to get away. No, He never physically hurt anyone, but sometimes words have edges as sharp as knives.
About 7 years ago, a combination of Alcohol and Asprin gave my dad a perforated ulcer and he had to have a large portion of his stomache removed because of it. It's been a LONG, HARD journey for him and my mom since then. He can't work, which I think is a big part of the problem. Work grounded my dad I think. Gave him someplace where he couldn't drink, where he couldn't act out. And he was Awesome at what he did. I remember hearing stories about his day and how he could figure out things even the engineers couldn't see. I think that crushed him that he couldn't go back to work after the surgery. I think it still bothers him. Of course SEVERAL surgeries later and many doctors telling him not to drink anymore or it would kill him. Me hearing the words..."I will never drink again" come from my father, I thought that things would be ok somehow. He was wonderful when he wasn't drinking. Not moody or anything like what he was like while he was drinking. Then he started drinking again. Mix that with the pain killers he's on, that he also abuses now and what do you get. A man that brings people down. A man that is a shell of what he once was. A shell of what I KNOW he can be.
See, in this story, I am lucky. I got to grow up and move out, I got to go on and live my life and be happy with my wonderful husband and my beautiful little girl and now the new baby growing inside me. But what about those who weren't so lucky? My mom. I have no idea how she does what she does everyday. She is truly an inspiration. I know she's not feeling like it lately. And I know that she's having a rough time with everything that's been going on as of late. I can honestly say I'm not sure I would have stayed with my dad as long as she has. They've been together 27 years and I wonder how many times my mom has thought about leaving? My mom needs help. And I'm not sure how to do that. I feel lost and helpless and I'm sure she does too. But at the end of the day I don't have to deal with that every day and I feel bad about it.
His problems have become EVERYONE'S problems. Anyone who knows me will tell you have have irrational fears of alcohol and what it does to people. It's unhealthy and I know that. I guess call me afraid to go down the same path as my father, or if someone close to me was an alcoholic, I would be devastated. I am pretty sure that would be a deal breaker for me. I'm aware that he won't get help til he's ready but really if he hasn't hit is rock bottom and gotten his reality check by now, I don't think it will ever happen.
Man, I'm sorry for such a heavy post this morning. In fact I debate even posting this wondering if these feelings and thoughts I have would be better kept inside. But I guess the point of this is. This is what I know and I'm just a daughter. I can't imagine how much worse it is and I have no clue. But I do know this. Mom, You are not alone, I love you more than anything and want you to know that I may not be there physically to help but if you ever need anything or want to talk about it, call me. No one should have to deal with all of that on their own.
Some back story for those of you that may not know. I was always very very much a daddy's girl and in no way to I think I had it rough as a child, in fact my parents were awesome, they set limits but let us do our own thing. They knew how to reign us in when it was needed and let have some slack when that was needed. For the most part I wouldn't change a thing. They worked hard to give us the things we had and I can't speak for my brother but I know I appreciated everything I've learned and was taught growing up. But, there always was an elephant in the room. Something we never talked about, because for the most part, it just wasn't THAT big of a deal. Of course I can honestly say I'm sure none of us imagined it would turn out this way down the road.
My dad is an alcoholic. I don't know for how long, I know for a very long time but I guess I never really noticed it as a problem until I was a teenager. My dad can be the most fun, loving wonderful person you could ever meet. OR he can be moody and one joke can send him over the edge and make you just want to run 100 miles in any direction just to get away. No, He never physically hurt anyone, but sometimes words have edges as sharp as knives.
About 7 years ago, a combination of Alcohol and Asprin gave my dad a perforated ulcer and he had to have a large portion of his stomache removed because of it. It's been a LONG, HARD journey for him and my mom since then. He can't work, which I think is a big part of the problem. Work grounded my dad I think. Gave him someplace where he couldn't drink, where he couldn't act out. And he was Awesome at what he did. I remember hearing stories about his day and how he could figure out things even the engineers couldn't see. I think that crushed him that he couldn't go back to work after the surgery. I think it still bothers him. Of course SEVERAL surgeries later and many doctors telling him not to drink anymore or it would kill him. Me hearing the words..."I will never drink again" come from my father, I thought that things would be ok somehow. He was wonderful when he wasn't drinking. Not moody or anything like what he was like while he was drinking. Then he started drinking again. Mix that with the pain killers he's on, that he also abuses now and what do you get. A man that brings people down. A man that is a shell of what he once was. A shell of what I KNOW he can be.
See, in this story, I am lucky. I got to grow up and move out, I got to go on and live my life and be happy with my wonderful husband and my beautiful little girl and now the new baby growing inside me. But what about those who weren't so lucky? My mom. I have no idea how she does what she does everyday. She is truly an inspiration. I know she's not feeling like it lately. And I know that she's having a rough time with everything that's been going on as of late. I can honestly say I'm not sure I would have stayed with my dad as long as she has. They've been together 27 years and I wonder how many times my mom has thought about leaving? My mom needs help. And I'm not sure how to do that. I feel lost and helpless and I'm sure she does too. But at the end of the day I don't have to deal with that every day and I feel bad about it.
His problems have become EVERYONE'S problems. Anyone who knows me will tell you have have irrational fears of alcohol and what it does to people. It's unhealthy and I know that. I guess call me afraid to go down the same path as my father, or if someone close to me was an alcoholic, I would be devastated. I am pretty sure that would be a deal breaker for me. I'm aware that he won't get help til he's ready but really if he hasn't hit is rock bottom and gotten his reality check by now, I don't think it will ever happen.
Man, I'm sorry for such a heavy post this morning. In fact I debate even posting this wondering if these feelings and thoughts I have would be better kept inside. But I guess the point of this is. This is what I know and I'm just a daughter. I can't imagine how much worse it is and I have no clue. But I do know this. Mom, You are not alone, I love you more than anything and want you to know that I may not be there physically to help but if you ever need anything or want to talk about it, call me. No one should have to deal with all of that on their own.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Happy Birthday Lily!
Happy Birthday Baby Big Girl!
To the most beautiful, smart, spunky, wonderful 2 year old I know! Hope you have had a fantastic 2 years, cause I sure know I have.
I love you more than I could ever tell you and look so forward to the next year and seeing you develop into the awesome person I know you'll be!
To the most beautiful, smart, spunky, wonderful 2 year old I know! Hope you have had a fantastic 2 years, cause I sure know I have.
I love you more than I could ever tell you and look so forward to the next year and seeing you develop into the awesome person I know you'll be!
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
They're coming to take me away Ha Ha.
My To Do Lists that is. I have a million of them and I never seem to fully get caught up on one list when another one creeps up on me. Take for example my Housework To Do List. We'll just use one task. Laundry. I finally think I'm caught up on it, WHAM there's another pile just laughing at me. Or Dishes. Thankfully Adam has been pretty helpful lately. Otherwise I'm really not sure that we would have a single dish to eat off of.
The truth is, I feel like crap. Pretty much all the time, and the rare times I do feel well the very last thing I want to do is clean. I feel bad about this, I feel bad that I have no energy and everything makes me feel like puking. I WANT to be a good wife, I WANT to be a good mother and I am just simply not feeling it right now. I am thankful that lily is too young to remember the whining and crying I've been doing. I mean really, What kind of example is that for her? So I have spent a lot of time lately feeling guilty and feeling sorry for myself and basically making everyone around me miserable. I have stopped emailing friends. I don't care to go out and do anything. I just want to lay in bed all day and not do a darn thing. I feel like I am constantly disappointing people and getting on their nerves with my whining. I try so hard not to but when you feel like crap it just sorta happens.
Anyway, I guess my point is, I'm hoping this ends soon. For not just my sake but for all those around me.
Wish me luck.
The truth is, I feel like crap. Pretty much all the time, and the rare times I do feel well the very last thing I want to do is clean. I feel bad about this, I feel bad that I have no energy and everything makes me feel like puking. I WANT to be a good wife, I WANT to be a good mother and I am just simply not feeling it right now. I am thankful that lily is too young to remember the whining and crying I've been doing. I mean really, What kind of example is that for her? So I have spent a lot of time lately feeling guilty and feeling sorry for myself and basically making everyone around me miserable. I have stopped emailing friends. I don't care to go out and do anything. I just want to lay in bed all day and not do a darn thing. I feel like I am constantly disappointing people and getting on their nerves with my whining. I try so hard not to but when you feel like crap it just sorta happens.
Anyway, I guess my point is, I'm hoping this ends soon. For not just my sake but for all those around me.
Wish me luck.
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