Sunday, February 28, 2010

What is it about major changes?

I'm not sure why it is but for me at least, it seems anytime something major changes (new job, new baby, going on a trip, moving etc.) it takes me what seems like FOREVER to adjust and feel back to normal again.  I don't think it's a big secret that I am not a huge fan of big changes.  I like routine and schedule and consistancy.  Well when any of those things above changes, it just seems so HARD to imagine life the way it will be with the new change.  And yes I'm  babbling about my new job again.  I just can't seem to picture myself with this new schedule, at this new job with these new people.  The job itself is fine.  Like always I over-react to things like that.  I hate the unexpected.  The job can be a little mundane but the time passes quickly enough I guess.  But I can't help but think how easy I transistioned into staying home and keeping house and taking care of miss Lily.  And then reflect on how HARD this transition back into working this job has become.  I'm certain I'm driving people nuts with my whining.  I feel bad about that but at the same time, I just can't help the way I feel.  I know, what dove it preltty comlain about rig?  I have it pretty goo.  But I just don't feel happy.  I feel happy when I'm home with my family but the dread that comes with the fact that tomorrow is Monday and I have to go back to a job that takes me away from the ONE thing I truely love doing just makes me want to cry.

I'm sure it's all still just a matter of adjusting, and I figure about the time I finally get used to it, that's when my options will open up for me.  Cause isn't that just the way it always is?

Sunday, February 21, 2010

It's Sunday.

A week ago that really meant nothing to me.  Sunday was just like any other day of the week.  I was carefree, enjoying being home with my amazing little girl and keeping my house extremely clean.  But this Sunday is different.  It's like the "old days" (you know 3 weeks ago) when I actually had to get up on Monday to go to work.  But this one is different.  The hours are different, the pay is different and the fact that I'm really not sure what the heck I'll be doing at this new job is different. 

So this morning I took some time and laid in bed and watched Elmo with Lily.  We cuddled.  It was great.  Adam is at work.  And my In-Laws came to pick up Lily this morning.  She will having a sleepover at grandma's tonight.  I miss her WAY more than usual knowing that I have to go back to work tomorrow.

I'm really not sure I like this new direction life is going.  But I have faith that things will work out.  Hopefully I will love this job, or my old one will call me back and I can get out.  I am most sad that I was really really enjoying being home with my little girl everyday and now I feel like I'll barely see her.

Guess now's a good time to start pushing bedtime back a bit so I can spend just a little more time with her.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Well, I got a Job.

I've had a few days to think about it now.  I was pretty bummed about the whole situation which is way more long and complicated than it should have been.  But now that I've thought about it I'm thankful and excited about the new opportunities that are in front of me.  I hate starting new jobs.  The first few days of not knowing what is expected of you is rough for me.  Meeting new people and learning what's expected is tough.  But it'll be a good thing.

So I know I haven't been writing much lately and it probably won't get better for a while til I can feel out my new job and learn what I can and can't do and all that jazz.

Wish me luck as I start this new chapter in my life!

Monday, February 8, 2010

How I spent my first day as a House Wife.

Cleaning.  I should have gone and gotten the girl from my parents house, however, it was snowing, hard with no signs of letting up so we decided it would be best and safest for all if the girl stayed with my parents another night.  I'm sure they just hated that.  NOT.

So I slept in and watched tv in bed for a while.  Then I got up and showered and let the dog out.  Started some laundry and headed to Mills Fleet to pick up a few things we needed.  When I got home I cleaned the bathroom.  (oh lord did it need it)  And the bedrooms.  Swept and picked up stuff.  Vacuumed the stairs and the living room.  Did the dishes and cleaned the kitchen and dining room.  I've been productive to say the least.  The last load of laundry is in the wash and I feel great.  I love it when the house is clean.  So for a while, I'll enjoy having a clean house.  Until the day comes when I get a job.

I did apply to about 5 jobs today so hopefully something will come of them.  A couple of them are just part time but I could handle that I guess.

I have to say one thing though.  I miss the girl.  A Lot.  Hopefully the roads and stuff will be better and so I can go and pick her up tomorrow.  Either way I know she's in good hands.