Tuesday, May 25, 2010

They're coming to take me away Ha Ha.

My To Do Lists that is.  I have a million of them and I never seem to fully get caught up on one list when another one creeps up on me.  Take for example my Housework To Do List.  We'll just use one task.  Laundry.  I finally think I'm caught up on it, WHAM there's another pile just laughing at me.  Or Dishes.  Thankfully Adam has been pretty helpful lately.  Otherwise I'm really not sure that we would have a single dish to eat off of.

The truth is, I feel like crap.  Pretty much all the time, and the rare times I do feel well the very last thing I want to do is clean.  I feel bad about this, I feel bad that I have no energy and everything makes me feel like puking.  I WANT to be a good wife, I WANT to be a good mother and I am just simply not feeling it right now.  I am thankful that lily is too young to remember the whining and crying I've been doing.  I mean really, What kind of example is that for her?  So I have spent a lot of time lately feeling guilty and feeling sorry for myself and basically making everyone around me miserable.  I have stopped emailing friends.  I don't care to go out and do anything.  I just want to lay in bed all day and not do a darn thing.  I feel like I am constantly disappointing people and getting on their nerves with my whining.  I try so hard not to but when you feel like crap it just sorta happens.

Anyway, I guess my point is, I'm hoping this ends soon.  For not just my sake but for all those around me. 

Wish me luck.

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