Sometimes I feel so defeated. Like today. After eating a slice of cake a coworker brought in for me, I vowed (like I do everyday) to stop eating the junk he brings me. I have asked him not to bring it and he still does. Today I came up with a good plan to just simply take what he has given me and put it back on his desk until he takes the hint. I was happy and confident with this decision as I am so tired of my lack of self control and it's become evident that I can't have the temptation in front of me. So here I am, eating my healthy lunch and coming up with this plan of how to make a permanent change. How to fix the problem I have and then my co-workers come back from a lunch with a vendor and hand me a whole package of girl scout cookies. Head...meet wall. I said no thank you and that they could keep them and they told me no, they were for me. You see I am a sweets kinda girl. Even if it's something I don't really like I just have to eat it if it's front of me. Not to mention just READING the description on the package of cookies "crunchy fudge-coated treats" is enough to make me want to eat the whole package.
I'm so sick of the mind games I play with myself. I'm sick of starting and quitting. I'm sick of feeling gross and uncomfortable in my skin and yet here I sit. Writing this post, seriously considering eating one of those cookies....which I am positive will lead me to eat more.
People say you can't be an all or nothing kind of person. Studies show that depriving yourself is not the answer...But what do you do when you want to eat in moderation and make healthy choices and you just can't? How do I fix this? I just feel so broken today.