Saturday, December 18, 2010

2 Week update.

A few days late on the 2 week update.  It's been rough.  I'll say that much.

As most of you know now, my dad passed away a week ago.  Claire was only 8 days old and she never got to meet her grandpa.  That makes me sad.  Very sad as I know he was excited to meet her.    The funeral was yesterday and everything went as well as it can.  I only cried a few times and I guess I wonder what's wrong with me?  I feel like I should be more torn up about the whole thing.  I mean, he was my dad, we were close.  But yet I can't seem to convince myself that it's all real.  In fact really the only time I cry about the whole thing is when I think about my girls and how fortunate I was that I got to know both of my grandpas and how they won't have that opportunity.  It's so important to me that they know their family.  Maybe it's because he had been sick for so long.  I mean on one hand I really never thought the day would come that he would actually die.  He has lived through so much he sorta seemed indestructible and on the other hand I can't believe he made it as long as he had.

Couple that with the horrendous lack of sleep and it hasn't been pretty around here.  I am not nearly as patient as I'd like to be and neither is Adam.  I'm terrified for Monday when Adam goes back to sleep and I', left all on my own.  Not to mention Monday is my birthday.   Happy Birthday to me.  Ha.  He has been such a great help.  Since I've been pretty much attached to the baby since the only thing she seems to like is being held 24/7, I usually take that on as I do have just a smidgen more patience than Adam does and while I do that he washes bottles and gets me things and does the dishes.  How will the dishes get done when he goes back to work?  The thing I feared most has come true....With Lily I just napped when she did as I didn't have another kid to worry about and now I have to think about her and hope to god that they both nap at the same time so I can catch 45 minutes.  It's interesting to say the least.  And SO much harder than I had anticipated.

Claire seems to have horrible gas.  So she cries and cries and nothing can console her sometimes.  And have I mentioned just how blasted loud she is?  I mean I love the girl but holy smokes Momma needs some sleep.  she also seems to be cold All. The. Time.  Which is why I think she likes being held so much.  She breaks out of the swaddle on a regular basis too. 

So for now, we are still adjusting.  Hoping we can figure everything out sooner rather than later.  After all it's supposed to be a happy time of year!  My birthday, new baby, Christmas.  We just need a breather to take it all in and figure out our limits.

1 comment:

  1. ((hugs)) I am always available to come up and relieve you for a few hours if you need it. Don't think you can do everything youself. Make sure to ask for help! You will get through this period of adjustment!